When Things Fall Apart.

Have you ever experienced the smitten spirit of all things heavenly quickly leave your body reversing the real thing to regret? Have you ever watched your romantic comedy turn into a thriller?  I mean, no person truly invested wants to just walk away from a budding relationship – but there’s only so much one can take before the strength of love dissipates and the agony of defeat presides.

Here’s the burning question: When things fall apart do you wallow in sorrow? Do you drown in your tears and play the blame game or choose to sing and dance in the rain?

Gene Kelly made Singing in the Rain famous by denouncing his gray clouds of sadness and recapturing a “glorious” feeling making him ready to love again.  Donny Hathaway recorded a melancholy ballad in 1975 titled Sunshine over Showers where he compared summer skies to his beloved and rain showers to the pain of the ebb and flow of his relationship. This old 1-2 is especially and most often touted in response to matters of the heart. Many compare relationship stress to a storm; often referring to the subsequent tears and impending pain as thunder and rain, respectively.

I have dipped back to Donny many a time for encouragement during heartache, but in 2016 Napoleon Da Legend put another spin on this phenomenon and called it “Dancing in the Rain” and I can totally relate. Putting this phenomenon into perspective; Napoleon used his lyrics to catalog the signs that you may need to buy a raincoat and duck boots. After I listened I found myself snapping my neck in agreement and my tears dried as I sang along. There were three main points made on this track that really had me thinking I should just get my umbrella:

Who are you talking to- Clearly he read my mind here. When you go from baby and sweetie to “her”, there is a problem. It was all good just a week ago and now you can’t even say my name? There is nothing more hurtful than someone who used to love you switching up and referring to you with negatives and disrespect or…not at all. Loss of respect is a game changer.

Just be honest- Hi Five! The truth is, sometimes the tides change in your relationship because the person you love decides they no longer want the same things. You may catch them cheating or entertaining others romantically when all along they swore you were the only one. I am talking from experience here; telling someone you are no longer happy and want to move on, feels so much better than catching them in the act and having to replay that.

But why do we have to go through that- We are adults. We work, wash, feed ourselves and have opinions. Keep it 100%. If you don’t want to be with someone just tell them. When you ‘act’ like you are still in love or want to work things out it gets messy. Don’t make things harder – move on my friends. It’s going to hurt regardless and putting people through more hurt and pain is juvenile and selfish.

These emotionally charged lyrics (feelings) over a tightly orchestrated loop (relationship) and hard drums (reality) reminded me of the joy and pain I experienced – it was the perfect storm. Right or wrong, the key is to eventually learn something new about all involved and move past the hurt. Some may think it’s strange, but dancing in the rain is a symbolic display of resilience and a true representation of humankind’s ability to press forward through adversity. Move on to the next just don’t forget the rubbers (boots that is).  Dance Responsibly.

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