Desperate & Thirsty: 10 ways women come off too needy.

During the winter months, living in solitude can get pretty lonely and women everywhere fall into the cycle of bad dates and broken hearts. However these are some tips to help relieve the tension and help them attract the mate they deserve.

1. Every one you talk to/date briefly you treat as a potential husband.

Every one you meet.. I repeat everyone you meet is NOT a potential mate for life. Some people come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves or what we absolutely do not want for ourselves. It’s extremely important that you get to know the man before you and quite often what you see is not what you get. Start off treating him like the friend he is and see if he will do the same for you. It is not uncommon for a man to skip the friend part and want to get intimate with you immediately. His libido won’t let him focus! But, you deserve a strong foundation with someone you are comfortable with and you can know on a deeper level. It is the only way to truly know if the guy you want is hubby material or should you be looking for the nearest exit.

2. You text men consistently even when they don’t respond.

It’s one thing to send a good morning text. Its sweet, its friendly. But, if you are the one constantly sending them every morning, perhaps it’s time to see if he will consider you and return the favor? Women have to allow a man to pursue them because they are natural hunters and you run the risk of jumping the gun and ruining his efforts. Perhaps he woke up a little later than usual and he did want to say good morning, but you beat him to the punch? Relax a bit and let him communicate with you first sometimes. What if he doesn’t text back? No worries. People are genuinely busy these days but if it becomes a growing trend, he’s just not that into you. If a man wants you, he will be willing to keep the lines of communication open via text and phone wanting to meeting you in the middle. If he doesn’t want to, than he’s not the guy for you and that’s cool as well. The saddest thing in the universe is a woman who keeps texting a guy and winds up having an entire conversation with only herself.

3. When a man says he will call you back, you wait for the call no matter how long it takes.

When your best friend says “I’ll call you back.” Do you wait in a chair by the window for that call or do you casually let time pass and go on to do other tasks? We both know the answer to that. Why on earth would a woman wait on a man or anyone else for that matter before she decides to live her life?! I don’t care how many hours it takes, when a man says he will call you back than you let him. If he doesn’t, it is his loss and you can now decide for the next call (because he will suddenly get over that amnesia) on whether or not you have the time or energy for conversation. It’s so simple. If a man has enough space to be himself and do his thing with no control than he’ll hit you up comfortably. A man of true character is about action and not about the words.

4. You spend hours doing research on a guy  (social media sites, astrology compatibility, numerology, social security number)

You could be so much further in your career goals if only you took the time to research how to get there. Men are competitive and do not allow relationships or anyone to get in the way of their success or ambition. If a man like that is what you crave then, guess what? He’s looking for that same type of woman. Naturally those two types of individuals attract each other. Its much better to list your profession as a lawyer instead of a snoop and if he catches you, its over. The real research on a man happens during the listening stages when you ask questions and he responds. Men say what they mean and get straight to the point. Im guilty of reading astrology compatibility, but for fun. Everything must be done in moderation. Checking out a guy that you likes Facebook page to see what his interests are is one thing, but obsessing over every little status made and getting mad over posts you know nothing about is a bit psychotic.

5. You plan your life around a man’s schedule. You’re always on call.

Two things a woman is not: A Wawa or a 7eleven. A woman should not present yourself as though she is available around the clock. No one should be that available. If you are, than maybe you should re-prioritize your life and focus on the things that are really important besides a relationship. Be respectful of your time and selective of who you chose to spend it with. A woman teaches a man how she wants to be treated so if you want to be regarded with high esteem, cut back on the after 10pm phone calls and let it be known that the only time he can “see you” is on a planned outing or date which doesn’t involve you coming over just to Netflix and chill. If he wants to take you out and you already have pre-made plans, offer to take a raincheck. A real man will view your independence as sexy and will understand that he has to come correct to fit into your schedule. If you drop everything on a dime just to spend time with him the message you send is that you are ok with having the relationship progress on his terms This will leave you feeling rejected when he doesn’t return the favor.

6. You are constantly trying to find where men hang out so you that can be front and center.

It’s raining men. Hallelujah. Even when it seems like there’s a drought of handsome and successful men, the truth is…a good man can literally appear out of thin air. It is when you are least perceptive to it or even looking that the real miracle of a man appears. I encourage being social and meeting new people, but not just men. Go out to festivals, take yourself to dinner, learn new things, take dance classes, cooking lessons, and become a well rounded woman that any man would be lucky to have one day. But, don’t do it for that reason, do it for yourself. Be great inside so you can shine on the outside wherever you go.

7. You view other beautiful women as competitors when there’s a man you want who isn’t paying you enough attention.

I am a firm believer in female empowerment. We are not enemies but we are sisters who need to always support one another. True power comes in numbers and for that reason alone women must always stick together. Love should come easy and never forced. What is for you is definitely for only you and there is someone out there for everyone. Confidence is key in anything that we do and if you want something bad enough most times you get it. Sometimes the woman who stays calm and has a natural grace about her is the one that captures all the men in the room. Everyone is different and just because you aren’t being aggressive doesn’t mean you don’t stand a chance with the guy of your dreams. Once he notices you sitting in that corner being free and laughing with friends, he’ll be yours in no time.

8. You are accomplished in many areas of your life but because you don’t have a man you feel like a failure.

There are so many successful and single women out here in the world. Doctors, lawyers, real estate investors, teachers, you name it. Every day they wake up preparing to change their communities and make an impact. Smart, beautiful, sexy women. Why are they alone? Some nights they go home and cry out of loneliness feeling incomplete. If this is you, look deep. What do you see? I see a powerful person who will one day be capable of loving someone else beyond their wildest imagination. I see a woman obtaining her goals and preparing her life for goodness to come in. I see a woman who is not afraid to go out and conquer what she wants. Life is hard but if you’ve managed to sustain your livelihood and get closer to your dreams, that is something to be very proud of.

9. You are depressed whenever someone you know gets engaged or has a successful love story.

I believe in the Secret and the power of the Positive mind. When you are congratulatory and happy for others than others will be the same for you. I also believe everything is not what it seems. Social media is a gamut of lies for attention. There’s just not enough people keeping it real and no relationship is perfect. Do not idolize what you don’t have currently for maybe you are the blessed one and they wish to be single. A peace of mind can not be bought and a toxic relationship can bring you all the way down. Rejoice, for when your time comes your true friends will dance in joy for you and your man will absolutely adore you!

10. You view having a man as a prize versus viewing loving yourself as a prize.

Live a fulfilled life that is void of a man’s validation. Before entering a relationship ask yourself these questions: Do you know and like yourself? Are you okay with where your life is headed? Do you wake up happy and with a sense of purpose? Are you healthy? Do you believe you have much to offer not just a man but an employer? An investor? A generation? When you discover the ins and outs of your woman hood you will understand that your gift is special and you have to give it to the right one. So take your time and go at your own pace. It’s time for you to start being selective and then you can say to yourself ,”I made the choice.”

 

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