As we move through life, we experience all types of relationships, whether they are familial, or romantically based, they all require both parties to know and love themselves so the relationship can have a solid foundation. We often judge ourselves harshly for mistakes that we have made in the past. We have to learn to take self-inventory after each time to discover what things could have been done better if any.
I have learned that I could not always blame myself when things went wrong. I had to look at the whole situation and revaluate so the mistake would not be made again. As the famous saying goes fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I wanted to give you some tips on how to begin to love yourself from the inside out, so you can start building healthy, sustainable relationships.
Webster’s dictionary defines reflection as serious thought or consideration. As you reflect on past, current, and future relationships it is always important to make sure daily reflection takes place so you can center yourself for great relationships in any capacity. Self-Reflection is hard because it makes you turn on the mirror on yourself to determine what occurred either to enhance or destroy the relationship you have or may have had. I have learned that through self-reflection you can learn a lot about who you are as a person and grown from it.
When I think of self-assurance, it’s having the knowledge and believing you are enough for whoever comes into your life. Sometimes as people we analyze situations and feel we have to put on airs in order to fit the mold that the person wants. This is not conducive to a human nature and being true to you. What is causes is anxiety and stress to be what you are not. Being yourself works every time…YOU ARE ENOUGH
Peeling off layers of hurt, mistrust, and disappointments will help find your true self and to radiate from the inside out. Many people have layers to them, whether it is as multifaceted as an onion, or as simple as an orange. You have to determine which you are willing to peel until you let someone get to the real you or vice versa. Peeling away takes times and patience on both parts, I have learned once you get to the meat of the matter it makes all the difference.
- Unpacking Baggage
This can be the most difficult step of all. All people come with baggage or idiosyncrasies that we tend to hold on to from past situations. Whether the baggage was positive or negative it is still baggage. We cannot always hold on to things from previous situations and carry them to new ones. We must realize that there is no possible way to unpack all hurts, fears, and disappointments, expectations in one setting. The key is allowing that special someone to help you unpack and place away together.
I know you have heard the phrase that,” forgiveness is not for the other party it is for you.” This is such a true statement, I have learned that most times in relationships we have not forgiven ourselves or the previous person for what went wrong. As difficult as it may seem, you have to forgive past hurts, failures, and missteps even if you were to blame. Most times we don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes, learn, heal, and grow from the lesson. Once we do this it will help us to be more willing to open ourselves up for love and healthy relationships.
These ways are only a small key in beginning to love yourself so you can effectively love others.
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