Resolution #1: Take Your Time
One of the most popular topics of discussion this holiday season is the recent engagement of thousands of couples. You may have friends who excitedly plastered their social networking pages with photos of sparkling engagement rings, or recently announced that they are pregnant. Chances are, you feel a bit left out. While finding love may be at the top of your resolution list for 2020, don’t make the mistake of rushing into a relationship in an attempt to keep up with the masses.
Though your timeline has likely been flooded with expressions of love, don’t become blinded by envy and overlook important details while dating. Do not skip important dating milestones. Take your time while getting to know potential partners. Have fun and enjoy dating without placing any unnecessary pressure on yourself or your partner.
If you are uncompromising about your desire to marry, don’t let your desire become desperation. Rushing to the altar will only lead to more heartbreak in the long run. Be clear about your intentions, but enjoy the natural flow and progression of the relationship.
Resolution #2: Learn to Listen
Communication is one of the most important foundations of any relationship. One of the biggest errors we make in dating is failing to actively listen to what is being said, thus developing unrealistic expectations based on what we want to hear instead.
Believe the man who says that he does not want to get married. Believe the woman who says that she wants an exclusive relationship. Believe each other when it comes to important topics and issues that you will not compromise about down the line.
Eliminate the confusion and chaos of trying to change someone to fit your needs. Listen to what is being said, without trying to read between the lines and turn their words into what you would rather hear. Establish healthy communication from the beginning with honesty and understanding.
Resolution #3: Remove the Mask
Don’t be so eager to find love that you put on a mask of perfection in hopes that you’ll meet the man or woman of your dreams. The person that is perfect for you will embrace your flaws and love you for who you are. They will also support your efforts to become a better you.
You must first forgive yourself for your shortcomings and realize that nobody is perfect. Your strengths and weaknesses make you unique, and you shouldn’t live in shame. Continue to set realistic goals for self-improvement, but don’t get so hung up on who you want to be that you forget to love who you are right now.
Women should not hide behind layers of makeup and artificial additions to their appearance, while men should not hide behind material possessions or use flashy distractions to supplement their personality. Eventually all of those material things and synthetic additives will be removed; you don’t want your partner to feel as though they’ve been tricked. Love shouldn’t be based on superficiality, so be proud of who you are, naturally.
Resolution #4: Try new things to meet someone new.
“To get what you’ve never had, you have to do things you’ve never done.”
If you’re looking for love in 2016, it may be time to venture out of your comfort zone and try new things. Instead of spending your weekends out on the town with your friends or sitting around at home, find a local coffee shop or bookstore that has positive energy and a relaxing atmosphere, and unwind. Check out some of the events in your area that you’ve previously overlooked, such as book signings, open-mic events, book signings, and if you’re feeling especially daring, try dance classes.
When you spend all of your time emerged in repetitive activities, you limit yourself and your prospects. Adopt a more adventurous approach, and you will likely end up meeting wonderful new people in addition to finding new hobbies and expanding your horizons.
Resolution #5: Don’t Let the Past Become Your Future
2019 is over. Whatever happened is officially in the past. Do not bring the stress, drama, heartache, pain, or baggage that you may have experienced last year or at any time before, into the New Year. Continue to move forward, instead of reverting to old habits. When you are ready to meet new people, give them the courtesy of a fresh slate. Do not assume that they will hurt you because you’ve been hurt before. Do not assume that they will mistreat you because you’ve been mistreated in the past.
It may take time to heal from your past, and that is okay. Sometimes we have to grant ourselves more time to heal before we are truly ready to move forward. Neglecting to do so is dangerous; if we allow ourselves to mistreat others based on what we’ve experienced in the past, we are only passing along that same pain that we’ve suffered to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Resolution #1: Commit to Self-Love
This is the most important resolution! Before dedicating your time and attention to dating, you must first commit to the development of self-love. While dating and becoming involved in serious relationships, we tend to get so consumed with others that we neglect to spend quality time alone. In the process of dating, we adapt to someone else, striving to meet their needs and adopt their interests. Ultimately, we forget to nurture our own needs and interests. Over time, our goals and desires become fused with our partners’, and who we are gets diminished or lost entirely.
It’s important to re-discover who you are while preparing to enter or re-enter the dating scene. What you need and want for your life may have changed in the process of ending a relationship, but if you don’t take the time to redefine what you need, you may put your own desires to the side once again. You’ll never truly be happy with what you find if you don’t know what you’re looking for.
In order to truly love yourself, you must first discover or rediscover what there is to love. Self-love goes beyond the exterior, and while you may be pleased with your appearance, it’s more important to be happy with your character. Self-love is developed by spending time alone: Get reacquainted with your hobbies and interests; write a list of your positive traits that you will reflect on and add to regularly; participate in activities alone while observing the behaviors and activities of people around you. All of these ideas will help you to appreciate your own company.
You will never be happy with someone else, until you realize that true happiness comes from within.
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