RELATIONSHIPS AND SOCIAL MEDIA

The Social Media Curse on Relationships.

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Is your partner asking you why are you not posting their picture on your Instagram, or wondering why he/she has not yet been your #MCM or #WCW? Are your weary about posting him/her on your social media accounts? Do you feel obligated to validate your partner or spouse by posting them on your social media accounts?

If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions, it is because social media now has a hold on relationships and has since its inception. It all started with Facebook relationship status updates. Sure enough, most people in love want to be sure to let the world know who the object of their affection is.  Yet, then on the flip side, you notice the happy pictures of new couples or recent engagements all of a sudden no longer show up on your timeline.  It’s because of what I like to call the Social Media Relationship Curse.  The curse typically impacts newly established relationships, engagements, or those couples who post every single aspect of their relationship on social media.

Social media is used by many to validate their partner or to show how much they love their partner. Social media has also created a wedge between many couples. What many don’t realize is that social media can unconsiously put a strain on a relationship, especially if a couple is not careful about what they put out for the world to behold.  I have seen where a couple may air their disagreements and/or problems on social media, which is a definate no-no for any couple no matter what the issue is.

Now, I am sure some of you are wondering , “What’s wrong with showing off your partner and letting the world know who you are in a relaitonship with?”  And to those people I ask, why do you have to announce a relationship in the first place?  If for some reason, you believe it is because you want to make sure to let everyone know you are off the market or how drop dead gorgeous your partner is, your motive for putting social media into your relationship explains why it is wrong to let the world know who your with.

What happened to privacy?  Privacy is essential to new relationships and recent engagements. Now, I am not saying that you cannot share moments of happiness with your partner on social media, just don’t take it too far.  How many posts do you need to share about what your partner does or does not do for you?  You don’t have to share anything about the intimate details of your relaitonship. For those of you that do, ask yourself if you do so to seek validation or praise for having someone?

And for those of you still wondering what is so bad or wrong with “showing off your partner and letting the world know who you are in a relaitonship with”, here are a few reasons why inserting social media into your relationship is a bad idea.

1) Some people don’t want to see you happy.

Some people scroll up your timeline just to see what you have been up to or to see how miserable you are, so when you are perceived to be happy, those people are the first to try and throw a wrench in it.  And it is not always your Ex.  It may be your Ex’s sister, friend or bff, cousin, etc., who can’t wait to screenshot the picture of you and your new love and share it, with every intention to diminish your present with an unnecessary comparison to your past.  Why would you want to give those individuals an opportunity to attack your relationship for no good reason? That is exactly what your doing by showing off your relationship.

2) You open your relationship up to criticism/speculation.

People don’t share your interest, which means there are people who will not find your spouse attractive or even suitable for you.  In hindsight, we shouldn’t care what those people think, but overtime, their constant criticism and speculation creep into our consious and provoke wonder.  You start thinking about the what ifs.  What if this girl/guy who keeps posting on my pictures really could be better than my girlfriend?  Or what if my girl/guy is really unattractive and I can do better?  All things that you probably would never consider had you not let social media into your relationship. So, if your going to second guess your mate, do it because that is what you want to do.  Not because of how your followers make you feel about them.

3) You’re probably more concerned with perception, not reality.

We are human and people who loved to be adorned, accepted and validated.  Most often people who love and live through social media seek validation and acceptance, based on the perception they want their social media account to represent.  But those of you who love and live through social media, ask yourself this “Are you more concerned with perception or reality?”

And if you are it is ok, well for now it is.  Just understand that you may not be ready to be in a reationship.  Because when you post more about your relationship than you are actively present in it, what is the point?  How can you enjoy your partner fully when you are posting more about how great your relationship is, and taking time away from the relationship to post about it.  This will leave your significant other feeling as if you are more concerned about what you all look like, especially when they know the relationship is not all what you post it to be.  Thus causing your significant other to call it quits.

So knowing this, is your relatoinship suceptible to the Social Media Relationship Curse?  Why or Why not?

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