Technology is Changing the Dating Game

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Aziz Ansar stated in his most recent book, Modern Romance, that takes an in-depth look at how technology is affecting romance. Everyone with a cellphone and a romantic life knows how swiftly and viciously the phone can turn against you. One minute, it’s a blameless communication device; the next, it’s a toxic incubator of second-guessing and self-loathing. You think you’re a reasonable person; suddenly, you’re obsessing over how to respond properly to a 2 a.m. text from a crush whose only communication after three days of silence reads, in its entirety, “wsup.”  

I love technology I really do, but like everything else it has it’s pros and cons. The internet has made anyone anywhere in the world close to you with the click of  button. We have learned how to communicate in 140 -160 characters or less. Generations are now looking for rapid results and instant gratification in all things, especially love. But what does this mean? It means that we need to re learn how to slow down and get to know one another. I use the phrase re learn because there was a time that getting together with that special someone could be quite a lengthy process. Let’s take that concept tweak it just a bit and meet quickfire romance half way; after all patience is a virtue, good things come to those who wait, etc.

1. The Lost Art of Conversation – 140-160 characters of less is what our conversations have become relegated to. Everywhere you go, walking, riding the train, sitting in coffee shops, you’l see people heads down buried in the cell phones or laptops. Texting, Twitter, Instagram, FB Messages, Google Messenger, have replaced face to face conversation. It’s come to the point where it’s more important to have data coverage that it is to have actual call time. The art of being able to actually sit in the presence of someone and engage in deep meaningful conversation has become an underdeveloped skill.

2. Are People Really Who They Say They Are? –  The World Wide Web has brought people closer than they’ve ever been, it’s also made it easier for people to pretend to be someone that they’re not, that they’re lives are different than they actually are, so how in the world are you going to really get to know someone? By taking your time. My Grandmother used to say, “You can white wash a leopard and cover its spots, but as soon as a hard rain comes the spots will surely show.” Take your time getting to know the people that you meet and I guarantee you, you’ll be able to to separate the chaff from the wheat.

3. Pressure to Over Expose Yourself – There are more social media outlets that I can count, and I’m sure that there are more in development as we speak. One of the things that I noticed is that people are a lot more likely to push the boundaries of what is appropriate because they have something to hide behind. I’m all for self expression; however, trust should be earned and not given. People have embraced the freedom of perceived anonymity, but just remember, once you send those sexy pics, or that erotic text, it’s out there and there’s no taking it back.

Technology is expanding at an every increasing rate and it sometimes seems that we’re just hanging on to the reigns trying not to fall off. I do believe that technology can help people find that special someone, just remember, there’s something about spending actual time with someone, with being in their presence, that technology will never be able to replace

“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” Ellen G. White

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