To Date a Co-worker or Not?

So, you and a co-worker have really been hitting it off. But, should you go for it? At one time or another, everyone has at least thought about or tried the office romance. The real question is: Is it ok? Can a workplace romance really work and be fruitful, or will it end in a complete disaster? Well, the answer is…it all depends.

The honest reality is that the success of an office romance depends on the individual that you choose to connect with. Do you want something serious? Does he/she want the same? If it is purely a “physical” thing, then the answer is simple.  DO NOT DO IT! Once the attraction and lust has dissipated, all you will be left with is awkwardness, tears, and drama . It’s simply not worth it. A friend of mine lost a six-figure job because of the insane drama that directly stemmed from an office romance.  No type of romance is worth your livelihood. No way! Due to the risk, I personally have never dated a person at my place of employment. But there is a saying that goes…different strokes for different folks.

For those that are intrigued by the thought, it is very important to know the type of person you are dealing with when deciding on an office romance. If your relationship prospect is a “Drama King/Queen,” “Player,” or “Gossiper,” you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.

If it’s a serious connection that you both desire, it may be worth the risk. I know of some married couples that currently work together after meeting at work. I say test the waters. Go on several lunch dates. Get to know the person. Ask about his/her current and future focus and goals. If your lunch dates reveal that a genuine interest is evident, then graduate to a couple of evening dates. But whatever you do, make sure you two do not participate in any type of physical intimacy. Anyone can hide their true intentions for 3-5 dates. Focus on really getting to know your co-worker. The more time you spend around this person, the easier it will be to figure him/her out. Being inquisitive is a necessary part of dating. The more answers you get, the more information you have to form your an opinion about the person.

By doing all of this first, your lustful thoughts or feelings should fall by the wayside. You should now either truly like and value this person for whom they are, or you should realize that this co-worker should stay just that – your co-worker. If the two of you are genuinely falling for each other, then I say, it is safe to attempt an office relationship. And if the connection simply isn’t there, at least you have a new friend in the workplace!


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