Should Black Women Date More than One Man at a Time

How Many Men Should A Woman Date?

A topic was posted in RBL Singles Facebook group lastnight: Should women date multiple men? I read a couple replies from members that stated women should not date multiple men at a time. The debate started from that point on! I did not realize that this was such a huge issue. I was going to save this topic for my future book, but instead I think it’s best I expound on my thoughts now instead of later.

I think it is perfectly okay for a woman to date 1, 2, 3…however many men she feels she has the time and effort for. Some people prefer to date one person at a time and others multiple. It’s all about what works best for that individual.

There should be no stigma about a woman who dates multiple men at one time. I think too many people confuse dating with sleeping around. There is no written rule that you have to sleep with every person you date. It is dating, not mating. 

More than likely a person that is sitting across from you during a date will not turn into a new romance or future wedding bells. I feel this is another reason why so many find dating frustrating, because they are only focusing on one aspect of dating. So many forget that you can make new friends or even a business associate while dating. Have fun and meet people!

“What about informing your date that you are seeing more than just him/her?” I say tell them. Now it does not have to be on the first date, truth be told you may never see that person again. If subsequent dates follow, I say inform them. They can’t be that naive in thinking that you do not have other people on your radar. Secondly, if they feel some type of way about you seeing other people then you have a red flag to deal with. Who wants to be with a jealous or insecure person?

If you are wondering which style of dating is best for you, here are some thoughts you may want to take into consideration when choosing your approach. Do not date one person at a time if you easily get attached to people – you may attach yourself to the wrong person. If you are going to date multiple people, please don’t compare your prospects. Don’t treat them as if you are about to purchase a subscription plan on the web. Give each person a fair chance to earn your attention and affection. If not, you just may miss out on something or someone great by making a hasty decision. 

What people covet most in a relationship is trust and honesty. Informing someone about your dating situation can automatically establish a level of trust. It is a great way to stand out. Wouldn’t you like the opportunity to make an informed decision about being in a dating triangle? It is just courtesy, especially if sex is involved. 

By human nature we are competitive beings. Want to see the person you’re dating step up to the plate? Let them know there is competition.

Make sure you share this message and as always….Happy Dating!

Joseph Dixon


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What are your thoughts?