Is Honesty Still The Best Policy?

Ah, relationships—white picket fences, little hearts dancing in the mist, violins playing as eyes catch each other, and subtle ‘I love you’s’  drips from our mouths.  And with the snap of a finger, all of it can be gone, because someone decided to tell—the truth.

In one way or the other, we’ve all learned this valuable lesson: the truth hurts. Phrases such as, the ugly truth and naked truth, are forewarnings that what you are about to be told—may not be conducive to a positive outcome. The truth can be sharp, abrasive, unapologetic, and downright painful. However, many of us still prefer to take that winding road of agony, which leads to the hills of despair, over the trails of tears.

So why do we subject ourselves to it? A line from one of my favorite all-time favorite movies (Love Jones) has been my bread and butter when it comes to this subject. Smooth-talking Darius Lovehall stated, “I learned a long time ago not to ask questions I didn’t want to know the answer to.” I stand by this 100%.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when you should want and need to know the truth. I’m more so talking about the minor infractions (misdemeanors) that are often treated like felonies in the court of relationships. For example, woman A asks man B if he thinks woman C is attractive. Now, if woman A has some insecurity issues, then man B needs to follow that question with a pretty lie. If man B proceeds to go with the ugly truth, then he just may find himself in ‘WTF” zone. The ‘WTF’ zone is a state of confusion one may find his or herself in. No matter what man B says or does for the rest of that evening—he’s fluffed (really it’s the other ‘F’ word). The same applies for the other side to. Brothers, don’t ask the question, “who was better?” if the response you get could potentially leave your ego bruised. Some things are just not worth the fight. So, I ask again, why do we subject ourselves to it?

Questions such as—Baby, how does this taste? Baby, how does this look on me? Baby, you like my new hairstyle? Baby, you’d rather watch the game than talk to me?—are all “trap” questions. In these cases, honesty is not always the best policy. Your answers better resemble some of these: baby this is the best dish I’ve ever had, you look good in anything you wear, you look like amazing, and I’d rather we watch the game together. These may very well be true statements, but if they are not—please say it anyway.  

I would like to get your thoughts on this subject. Do you believe that honesty is the best policy—all the time? What are some cases where pretty lies are ok to tell?

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